The letters that had never been sent
by Disney-Princess
Summary: Ginny looks back at her 6th year at Hogwarts, when Harry, Ron and Hermione had been hunting horcruxes. Looking through a box of letters she had written to Harry, despite not being able to send them, she remembers what they went through.
1. Chapter 1

My latest Fan Fic! This won't all be following the book exactly but it will most of the time. If some things aren't what's in the book then just go along with it because it'll be so that the story works.

Please read and review.

Disclaimer: I'm not J K Rowling, I'm just using the characters she created.

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The war had been over for 5 years, but it didn't stop Ginny thinking about it everyday. She had been engaged to Harry Potter for a year now and the wedding would take place in a couple of weeks. Alone in number 12 Grimmauld Place, the house they shared, she took a box out of her wardrobe and brought it down to the study. Harry hadn't seen what was inside the box, at least she didn't think he had. Every now and then, however, when she was alone, she would get it out and look through it. It reminded her of all the sacrifices that were made and all that she had gone through to be with Harry. She took out the first piece of parchment and started reading. They were letters. Letters that had never been sent. All of them had been written by Ginny, to Harry during the year he was off hunting for Horcruxes. One day maybe, she'd sit down with Harry and show them to him. But for now, they were private and she didn't want to share them with anyone.

Dear Harry,

I'm not quite sure why I'm writing this but I have no one to talk to so why not? I know I won't get to send it but maybe one day, when this war is over, I'll get to share it with you. I'm so worried about you Harry. I just want to be able to talk to you, make sure you're okay. I wish I had had the chance to say goodbye but maybe that would have been worse? I can't even begin to think how I would have said goodbye to you, Ron and Hermione without knowing when I would see you again. I understand why you had to leave, you're the most wanted wizard in the country now and you have your mission from Dumbledore, but it doesn't make it any easier.

Anyway, maybe I should tell you what's been going on here, for usually you like to know what's happening at the Burrow. No one was hurt when the death eaters came which is something. A lot of people managed to disapparate, just like you did. The rest of us were brought into the living room and interregated to see if we knew where you were. Of course we have no idea so we didn't have to lie. They left after a couple of hours and then hopefully you got dad's patronus, saying that everyone's okay. Bill and Fleur were upset that it had to happen on their wedding day, something that we'd all been looking forward to. Anyway, they've moved into their new hosue now by the coast. I went to look round a couple of days ago and it's nice. The Delacour's have gone back to France and Charlie left for Romania yesterday so things are quiet here now with the twins living about the shop. Although they seem to be coming home most nights for dinner and sometimes stay the night. I have no one to talk to though. Mum and Dad won't tell me much, saying I'm too young.

I hope that where ever you are, that you're keeping well, I'm sure that Hermione is looking after you and Ron. I miss you terribly and hope that this journey you're on doesn't take too long. I don't think I could handle it if anything happened to you so stay safe. I'm trusting that if something did happen, I'd hear about it in the paper. Every morning I wake up and dread going downstairs, wondering if today will bring bad news. The thought of us getting back together after this war is what's keeping me going right now and I have a feeling it's going to get a lot worse before it gets better.

All my love,

Ginny Weasley.

After she had written this letter, 6 years ago, she had charmed it so it appeared to be a blank page to anyone except her. This charm had long worn off however, but it had served its purpose. If the death eaters had found these letters, who knows what they would have done. Folding the parchment carefully, she put it on the table and pulled out the next letter.


	2. Chapter 2

Thanks for reading my story! I really appreciate it. Please read and review.

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Dear Harry,

I'm probably mad for writing this. It was strange the first time but somehow it helped. I suppose writing it all down made it easier to deal with. Normally I would confide in you or Hermione, when I was little it was Charlie I talked to. Never Ron, he was useless at advice. Since you and Hermione are on the run and Charlie's gone back to Romania, I suppose this will have to do. I still think about you everyday, even though I know we aren't together. I can't just stop caring about you. I'm taking the fact that I haven't heard anything means that you're still safe, please keep it that way. Mum is beside herself with worry about the three of you. She thinks of you as a son and Hermione's like a daughter so it's like three of her kids are on the run.

I have to go back to Hogwarts soon. I don't want to go and that's something I never thought I'd say. You might remember the first time we met, on the station before your first year. That year I was begging to go. I spent the whole year wishing I was at Hogwarts. I was so excited when it was finally time to go. I love school. I love being at the Castle and learning magic. But all that has changed now. If you've read the papers, I don't know if you're able to, then you will know that Snape is the new Headmaster and that the Carrow siblings are now teachers. The same Carrows who tried to kill us all in the Battle at Hogwarts the night Dumbledore died. How am I meant to sit in a lesson with them teaching? Am I meant to forget that they tried to kill me? Hogwarts is meant to be safe in this war. But now it's being run by death eaters. They really are taking over the world. First the Ministry and now Hogwarts. How am I meant to sit at the Start of Term feast and listen to Snape when I know that he killed Dumbledore? How could we possibly be looked after by the man who killed our previous headmaster? At first I thought that maybe I could stay at home this year and wait and finish school after the war. But that's impossible because it's now compulsary. It won't be the same without you guys either. I know we haven't always hung out at school, being in different years, but I liked the thought that you were always there. Even when I didn't talk to you guys that often, I was comforted by the fact that I could look down the table or round the common room and see you there. And then there was the end of last year, when I spent all my time with you. I can't believe I have to go from that to being on my own. Luna will be there of course but she's in Ravenclaw. You've always saved me and now there's no one. I know that I will be targeted by the Carrow's. They're in charge of punishments and seeing as though my family are considered some of the biggest blood traitors and the fact that we have close links with you, I don't have much hope that they're going to leave me alone. I know that you broke up with me to keep me safe, but they will still know that we dated at the beginning of the summer. The death eater's sons would have told them that. I just hope I have the strength to get through this.

Anyway, once again I hope you are well and that you're underway with whatever mission Dumbledore left you. Please finish it soon. I hate this.

All my love,

Ginny


	3. Chapter 3

Thank you for reading! It is very much appreciated. Please review.

Dear Harry,

Well here I am again. This time I'm sat on my bed in Gryffindor Tower. It's hell here. I've been at school for a week now. I suppose as with any story, I'd better start at the beginning.

On the platform at Kings Cross, only the Slytherins were happy to be going to school. Mum didn't want me to get on the train and to be honest neither did I. Dad told me to keep my head down and not draw attention to myself. Although I'm protected by my pureblood status, the death eaters know I fought with you at the Ministry and at Hogwarts and probably that I'm your ex girlfriend. On the train I managed to find Luna and then we bumped into Neville so the three of us got a compartment together. Lots of people were missing, because of their blood status. Seamus found us after a while and said that Dean was on the run. I told them what had happened over the summer, how you were off on a mission. We're all determined to get behind you, Harry. The train stopped before the station and death eaters came on board, just like the Dementors did when they were looking for Sirius. They checked everyone's blood status, we saw several people being led off the train looking very scared. They spent longer in our compartment than others. They were asking us where you were but of course we don't know. Eventually they moved on. We were all scared, seeing as though it doesn't bode well for the future. Neville said he would look after us though, said I could go to him if I needed to talk. He's been great. We're going to get the DA started again, to fight what's happening here. Luna's figured out how to do the Protean charm on the coins like Hermione did so we've modified them to work for us. Then Neville and I sneaked out of Gryffindor Tower one night and wrote in massive letters on the wall 'Dumbledore's Army still recruiting'. That seems to have got people's attention and we held a meeting last night in which loads of old members turned up and lots brought friends. Gryffindor Tower and the Room of Requirement seem to be the only safe places now.

Defence Against the Dark Arts is now just Dark Arts and Muggle Studies is compulsary only now we have to sit and learn why we are superior to muggles and how muggle borns somehow stole magic. We're all being forced to learn the cruciatus curse and when we get good enough we have to do detention duty in which we use the curse on those in detention. It's awful. The only good thing is that Luna is in my class. It means that we can perform the curse with no feelings, so the other person gets a tickling feeling, and to disguise it we just scream out in pain. We remembered what you'd once told us, about unforgivables only working if you really mean it. That's what we're planning on doing for the detention duty. We've spread the word round Gryffindor, Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw towers. Only the Slytherins are happy, they looked as though Christmas had come early after being told they could curse people. McGonagall came into the Tower on the second night and warned us about the punishments we could expect to receive from the Carrow's if we got referred to them. It's not going to stop the DA though. We're going to keep fighting, Harry. We're supporting you all the way. Neville had really stepped up to the mark, he's been fantastic.

Speaking of you, it was in the Daily Prophet that you broke into the Ministry of Magic! I can't tell you how scared I was when I read the headline. I'm just pleased that you got away. Why on earth would you go there? It's probably the most dangerous place for you to be, except here. I hope one day you'll be able to tell me why and that it'll all make sense. I would tell you not to do anything like that again, but I have a feeling that you will. Just try not to get caught.

Well I'd better go back down to the Common Room before someone comes to see where I am. I don't quite think they'd understand I was writing a letter that I will never post. It seems to help though. I hope you're safe Harry and that Ron isn't annoying you too much. I don't imagine you have a lot of access to food and he becomes very grumpy when he's hungry. I trust Hermione's keeping you both under control. Don't give up Harry, never give up. You're our only hope and we're counting on you.

All my love

Ginny.

Ginny put it with the other ones she'd read on the table and sighed. Neville had done a great job in looking after her that year. He had looked at her like a sister and she would be eternally grateful. It was why she and Harry planned to make him godfather to the kids they would have one day.


	4. Chapter 4

Once again thanks for reading and thanks for the reviews! Here's the next chapter for you to enjoy.

Dear Harry,

So, it's been a couple of weeks and once again I need some way of venting what's going on in my mind. I've been wondering over the past couple of days why I chose to write these letters to you. It doesn't really matter who I address them to as you're never going to receive them but I started thinking about why I chose you and not Ron, my brother. I guess it's because you always save people and so I was hoping you'd save me, again. After all, you saved me in the Chamber of Secrets. I know Ron helped but you were the one who defeated the Tom Riddle that came out of the diary. You saved my dads life when he got bitten by the snake. You saved Ron when he accidently drank the poison last year. Then there's all the times you've fought, for the Philosopher's Stone, during the Triwizard Tournament, at the Ministry, the night death eaters came to Hogwarts. I guess I see you as the person to save me. I only hope that this is true. It's not that I don't respect Ron, he's helped you a lot throughout the years, Hermione too. But you're different.

I can't just turn my feelings off. I agreed to break up, not stop loving you. Because I do love you Harry. Ron may not be thrilled about that but it's the truth and you need to finish this war so that I can tell you in person that I love you.

Anyway, now that I've got that sorted I will tell you what's been going on here. So far I've had three detentions with the Carrows, for speaking out of turn in lessons. I just can't sit there and listen as they say muggle borns don't deserve magic. Hermione's proof that muggle borns can do great magic. Neville's done four and has another one tonight. He's been great he really has. When one of us has a detention then the other has waited up to check they're ok. The first two weren't too bad, just writing lines. But not any old lines, lines with that quill you wrote with that uses your own blood. It seems to have faded for now but for a couple of days I had 'I am Pureblood' written across my hand. They wanted to remind me of my blood status. But the third detention was the cruciatus curse. Some of the Slytherins were helping out and you know how they all hate Gryffindors. I was in so much pain it took me ages to get back to the Common Room. All my muscles ached. But Neville was there waiting and he had snuck some food from the Great Hall so that I could eat. He stayed with me all night. I didn't want to have to walk up the stairs so he made sure I was comfy on one of the sofas whilst he slept on another. We think they went harder on my punishment than anyone else's because they know I'm friends with you. Plus I'm a Weasley. I don't know how I'm going to be able to survive this year. Snape is strutting round the place and the Carrow's are looking for any opportunity to punish people. I don't know what I would do if it wasn't for Neville and Luna. We hide in the Room of Requirement, talking about what might be going outside of the castle, until nearly curfew and then go to the common rooms. This way we get to spend time with Luna. We're having DA meetings several times a week which seems to lift people's spirits. It's not so much learning spells as planning how to get revenge on the Carrow's. Mum would probably freak if she knew I was a part of it, but I have to be. I need something to distract myself from thinking of the three of you on the run. Fred and George have written, saying they will meet me in Hogsmeade when we're allowed out this weekend so it will be nice to see them. Bill and Fleur are apparently loving married life and Charlie's excited about a new dragon that's just arrived at the reserve. Mum and dad write lots, every couple of days, but they can't say much because, of course, all the mail is being inspected. Still, it's nice to know that they are safe and they always give an update on Ron's 'Spattergroit'. Apparently the ghoul is having the time of his life living in Ron's room. If it wasn't compulsary to be here, I would have demanded to be allowed to stay at home this year. It's pointless being here when it's basically only an excuse to torture us all. People are in pain from the punishments so the other teachers are going easier on them. McGonagall came into the Common Room the night of my first detention and told Neville about the murtlap essence for my hand. It helped a lot. The only good thing at the moment is Quidditch. We're practising a lot just so that we have an excuse to escape the castle and fly. Flying seems to help me clear my mind. I can focus on the snitch and nothing else. I'm playing seeker again because you're not here. That's another reason you need to hurry back, how am I meant to be a professional chaser after Hogwarts if I keep playing seeker eh?

Last night I dreamt that this was all over. We were back at the Burrow celebrating. Then I woke up and realised it was just a dream, what a disappointment that was. Please let it all be over soon.

All my love,

Ginny.

After reading it, she put it with the others and went to get a cup of hot chocolate. It was emotional remembering what had happened during her sixth year at Hogwarts and she knew the letters weren't going to get better in the news they described. She didn't know why she felt the need to read them all every once in a while. Maybe it was to make sure she fully appreciated what she had now. Maybe it was so she wouldn't forget what people had been through. Maybe because as the wedding drew nearer, she wanted to remember how their relationship had started, with a few weeks of dating bliss before being torn apart. It had definately made her realise just how much she loved Harry.


	5. Chapter 5

Dear Harry,

Okay, so I told you in my previous letter that Quidditch was giving me some escape from everything going on. Well not anymore. I've got a life time ban, well I'm banned until the Carrow's and Snape get out of Hogwarts anyway. We played Slytherin in the first game of the year and they spent the whole match taunting us, saying that you were nearly dead and it was only a matter of time before Voldemort would come to the school and get rid of Gryffindor house. Madam Hooch wasn't allowed to referee, instead the Carrow sister did, saying she needed to keep a close eye on what was going on in every aspect of the school. This was only an excuse though because it meant the Slytherins could get away with anything. They started casting spells to mess with our brooms or make us do things for no reason and she completely ignored them! Everyone in the stands from Gryffindor, Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw, including the teachers, were shouting in protest. The Slytherin seeker kept flying close to me, saying that I was a blood traitor and that when Voldemort truely took over then he wouldn't want the likes of me around. He kept saying you would die and eventually he got to me. I've been so worried about you and to have someone keep saying it over and over again, it's not good. He kept going on about how my family would die, one at a time until we agreed with Voldemort's thinking. Something inside my just snapped and I shot a bat bogey hex at him. Carrow went mad and called the game to a halt. I was sent to her office to await my punishment and in the mean time they said that Slytherin had won the game because of Gryffindor's behaviour. It didn't matter that no one had caught the snitch. Both the Carrows and Snape came and took my broom away saying it would be locked up and protected and that I had a lifetime ban. They also gave me two detentions which I suspect will be the cruciatus curse. I was so nervous going back to the Common Room but I needn't have worried because everyone greeted me like a hero. They didn't care that they'd lost their seeker. They were pleased I'd stood up for myself. In fact many said they'd been about to hex them themselves. They were just pleased that I was okay and not bothered about the fact that they'd 'lost' the game. It just shows how much things have changed here.

Apart from that, things have pretty much been the same here. I've done a couple more detentions with the blood quill for speaking out in Muggle Studies but I just can't sit there quietly while they insult people I care about. Neville's noticed how it gives the rest of the class hope when people speak out. We're taking a stand against the Carrow's and it shows people that we're not going to listen to their stupid teachings. It means that my hand now hurts a lot of the time, but the mutlap essence seems to be helping. I think that by the time this is all over I'm going to have the words 'I am Pureblood' permanently inprinted in my hand, just like you have 'I must not tell lies'. Neville has been suffering a lot with the cruciatus being put on him. Seamus spent last night in the common room, unable to climb all the stairs to his bedroom. McGonagall seems to be going easy on us all. If we're late to class because we're in pain from just walking she doesn't tell us off. I was distracted in her lesson yesterday, thinking of you and my family. I thought she was going to tell me off as she asked me to stay behind after class. Instead she offered me a biscuit, insisted I took one, and said I could talk to her if there was anything bothering me. I asked her if she'd heard anything about you but she hadn't. She's worried about you too. She assured me that you knew how to look after yourself but it doesn't stop me worrying.

I can't wait until Christmas, we're all counting down the days until we get to go home and I don't think anyone is going to stay here over the holidays. The twins are going to stay at home over Christmas but Charlie is staying in Romania. It would have been nice to see him. I'm not sure what Bill and Fleur are doing but hopefully coming to The Burrow as otherwise I don't know what mum will do. She just wants the family to be together but that's not going to happen with Ron off with you, Charlie in Romania and Percy being an idiot. He still ignores dad when they see each other at the Ministry, even though he must know now that Dumbledore and dad were right, Voldemort has returned! It's his stupid pride, he doesn't want to admit that he was wrong. I just want it to be like old times, with the whole family sat round the table eating and joking around, having fun.

Well I'm expected in the Room of Requirement soon for a DA meeting so had best go see if Neville's in the Common Room. As always I hope you're all safe and well. I still think about you everyday, and Ron and Hermione. I wish I could tell you this instead of writing it all down and never sending the letter.

All my love,

Ginny.


	6. Chapter 6

Dear Harry,

We have a plan to help you. Well we haven't finished the plan but stage one is all planned out. You said you were left the Gryffindor Sword in Dumbledore's Will but the Ministry wouldn't give it to you. Well we're going to get it for you. We've come up with a distraction, using some of Fred and George's products they gave me when I saw them in Hogsmeade. They had disguised them so we could get them into the Castle. When it's been set off, Neville, Luna and I are going to sneak into Snape's office and get the sword. We've been stalking the place out, hiding behind suits of armour and using the new invisible extendable ears to listen to the password Snape uses and can you believe it, the password is Albus! As if killing him wasn't enough, now he's just mocking Dumbledore. Anyway so as long as he doesn't change it between now and tomorrow (when we're completing the mission) then we'll do okay. Snape and the Carrows will be busy with the commotion that Seamus, Lavender, Ernie and the Patil twins are going to cause. Once we have the sword we'll hide it in the DA headquarters, Neville seems to have a real knack for the room and so we're pretty sure no one will be able to get at it. Then we need to wait until we can figure a way to get it to you. I have no idea how we're going to do that but we'll worry about that later, once we've got the sword. I know it's risky, we all do, but we have to do it to help you. You want the sword, you said it yourself in the summer and it's rightfully yours. You pulled it out of the sorting hat, you killed the basilisk with it and saved my life. Dumbledore left it to you and we've going to make sure Snape and the Ministry doesn't get in the way of his wishes. There must have been a reason he left it to you and so we'll find a way, somehow, of getting it to you.

Meanwhile, we've all been getting a lot of detentions. The writing on my hand won't go away now, the same with Neville. More or less everyday people come back to the Common Room late at night in pain because of the cruciatus curse. People don't actually have to do much wrong for them to be put in detention, it's any excuse to curse the non Slytherins. But we have had hope this week. We found a radio channel on the wireless in the Common Room. It's called Potterwatch annd it's fantastic! It's run by Lee Jordan but Fred, George, Lupin and Kingsley all feature in it! It tells us what's really going on outside of the castle, the deaths that we don't hear about otherwise. It also has a segment about you, of course, given the name. Everyone on it is convinced that you're still alive, that we should look to you as a symbol of hope which is exactly what we are doing. It was actually McGonagall that put us on to it. She asked me to stay behind after class one day and asked me how I was. She said that she was pleased with the marks I've been getting which is something. I've tried to focus on the lessons that are actually taught properly, so it isn't a complete waste that I'm here. Anyway, she cast some silencing and privacy spells around the classroom and then told me quietly that I should use the wireless in the Common Room to listen to Potterwatch, told me what channel it would be on that evening and the password, which was Potter. The next day I couldn't thank her enough, it was so good to be able to hear from the outside world where the people don't have to filter what they say in case of mail interception. The whole Common Room went silent to listen to it and then when it was over everyone burst into a round of applause. Now it's our mission everyday to try and find the channel and password because it keeps changing so that they don't get caught and it's not on everyday because they move locations. It really lifted everyone's spirits and we told the Hufflepuff's and Ravenclaw's in the DA about it and they're all listening too. It's not nice hearing about the people who have died, but at least we're hearing the truth. Now we have an idea of the bigger picture, what's really going on.

I'm off to spy on Snape again now, to make sure he hasn't changed his office password. I hope you're okay and are managing to keep warm now that the weather's changing. I'm sure Hermione's got a few charms for warmth though. I wish you were here, I always wish you were here.

All my love,

Ginny


	7. Chapter 7

Dear Harry,

We didn't get the sword. We tried and we nearly got it, but then just as we were leaving Snape and the Carrows came and caught us. People always say I rush into stories though so I'd better start at the beginning. As soon as classes were over Neville, Luna and I went to the Room of Requirement to wait until it was time. The others spread out at the other end of the Castle waiting to let off their distractions. We used a wide variety of Weasley's Wizard Wheezes products. Seamus and Lavender let off Peruvian Darkness Powder down one corridor, the Patil twins let off a swamp and Ernie and the hufflepuffs let off loads of their fireworks, then ran right away from the area, making sure that no one had seen them. We watched behind a piece of armour as Snape came running out of his office and waited a few minutes to check he really was gone. Then we used the password to get into the office and saw the sword above the desk. Dumbledore's portrait was there but he must have been visiting another frame. We managed to get the sword down after performing a few simple unsticking charms (all that cleaning of Grimmauld Place actually came in handy!) and we put it in a bag we'd brought that could carry as much as you want without getting any bigger. But then as we were leaving the office and going back down the stairs, Snape came through the door and looked livid. I was so scared. He just looked at us and then ordered us back into the office. Worse still, he was followed by the Carrows. I thought they were going to crucio us on the spot, I really did and started bracing myself. As soon as he entered the room Snape knew what we had taken and summoned the bag from Neville. He replaced the sword as the Carrows started suggesting punishments. But then something funny happened. The Carrows were suggesting a couple of hours in detention everyday for the next couple of weeks or more writing with the quill or solitary confinement. But Snape shook his head and said that as the crime happened in his office, he would be the one to decide the punishment. The Carrows weren't happy with that, insisting that they were in charge of punishment but Snape overruled them and said that it was his school and so he's in charge. Then he said we'd have to go with Hagrid into the Forbidden Forest the following evening, helping him to check on the creatures in there. The Carrows were not impressed with this, saying we should still get detention with them as well. But Snape said that a trip into the forest would be bad enough, especially with all the creatures we were likely to meet in there. The Carrows left the office talking about how they weren't happy with Snape. Then Snape told us Hagrid would be expecting us the following evening at 6. As he ordered us to leave I could have sworn I saw a glint in his eye. Well, as soon as we got to the Room of Requirement we couldn't believe our luck. A night with Hagrid, that's nothing like a punishment! The rest of the DA were there and we told them what had happened and they wouldn't believe it.

So last night we met Hagrid at his hut, having been escorted down by Filch. He was waiting with Fang and in front of Filch he acted like it was going to be a real harsh punishment for us. But as soon as we got out of earshot he changed. He asked us how we managed to get this as our punishment and said that he welcomed the chance to chat with us. We talked about you for a while, about how we hope you're well and achieving what you set out to achieve. We just walked round the forest, gathering unicorn hair from where it had got caught on tree trunks. Then when we'd been in there long enough, Hagrid brought us back up to the castle. Luna went off to her common room and Neville and I arrived back to find several people waiting up for us. They told us the latest from Potterwatch and then we told them about our time in the Forest. We must be the luckiest people ever. To get caught stealing from Snape's office and to get off with only a walk in the forest with Hagrid! I think Hagrid really liked the punishment and it was good to talk to him seeing as I don't take Care of Magical Creatures anymore. He's supporting you Harry, all the way. He trusted Dumbledore with his life and he's proud that you're trying to fulfill the misison he set for you.

I'd better go to dinner now, Neville's waiting with Seamus so we can all go down together. As always I hope you are safe and please stay that way. Can't wait to see you again, hopefully in the near future.

All my love,

Ginny


	8. Chapter 8

Dear Harry,

I can't believe what's happened now. It was supposed to be a happy time, getting to go home and be away from the Carrow's for a couple of weeks. Everything was good, everyone was happy when we got on the train because we could see our families and talk properly with them, not hide stuff because of mail interception. I sat with Neville, Luna and Seamus on the train. A couple of DA members also came to talk for a while. But then just before we got to the platform the train stopped and once again death eaters came on. It was horrible, Harry. They took Luna. They said it was because of her father, the Quibbler's been supporting you and I guess they can try to stop him by holding his daughter hostage. We tried to stop them but it all happened so quickly and they performed shield spells to protect themselves. We sent hexes but they didn't work. She's gone and I have no idea where she is. They took her off the train and then it started moving again and arrived at the station. I was crying by this time, wondering where they had taken her. What if she's hurt? I hate thinking of her in Azkaban with all that Sirius told us about the place. It's like they're taking away the people who mean the most to me. Now I only have Neville left to talk to when I get back to school. And the DA of course, but Luna was my best friend. Neville too was very upset, they were getting very close. We got our luggage and left the train, saying a tearful goodbye on the platform. Other members of the DA had heard and came to see if it was true. Finally I got to mum and dad and they hurried me away. We hardly talked until we got home, in case we were being watched. Once inside our wards however, I just broke down. I told them what had happened to Luna and what it's been like at Hogwarts. I wasn't going to tell them quite how bad it was, but I just couldn't hold it in. Mum was horrified that I'd had the cruciatus curse performed on me and dad had noticed the writing on my hand at once. But there's nothing they can do. They can't talk to McGonagall and make it stop, she doesn't have any power at the school anymore. They were a bit mad at me for getting into trouble, they made me promise to keep my head down next term but I don't think I'll be able to do that. I'm like you in that respect. The morning after I came home I went downstairs to find my mum pouring over several different medical books. She's determined to find a way to get the scar off my hand but I seriously doubt she will. I know that Hermione tried with yours and couldn't find anything. Well at least I have something in common with you now. Dad's horrified they made me write about being a pureblood, knowing that it was probably to make him mad as he loves muggles. My mum's making me eat loads because she says I've lost weight, which is probably true. Detentions often mean missing dinner and Neville and the others can only sneak so much food out of the Great Hall.

I wish I could speak to Neville, ask how he's coping after Luna being taken away. He's the only one who knows what I'm feeling, mum and dad try to understand but it's not the same. Lupin and Tonks will be coming to our house for Christmas along with Bill, Fleur, Fred and George. Tonks is getting bigger now but she looks radiant. It's nice to have something to look forward to in all of this. Charlie can't come back because they've restricted the use of international portkeys and he can't get one, mum's upset because Ron and Percy already won't be here, and you of course. She's still knitting you all jumpers though, in case you do come back in time for Christmas. She's put them under the tree. Maybe you can open them whenever this is all over. I must admit I've brought you something too, from Fred and George's shop as my mum won't let me go to Diagon Alley and the last Hogsmeade trip coincided with a detention so I couldn't go. I know I should stop speaking out in Muggle Studies and just sit there without protesting in Dark Arts but I just can't. It's not right what they're doing! We all hope this will be over soon. We were hoping maybe you'd have finished by Christmas but I guess that was just wishful thinking, unless you come back in the next couple of days. Keep safe Harry, I couldn't bear it if anything happened to any of you. I'll see you when you've done whatever you're doing.

All my love,

Ginny.


	9. Chapter 9

Dear Harry,

First of all, Merry Christmas! There's only an hour left of Christmas and I'm sat in my bedroom. Today was weird. It was the worst Christmas I've ever had and I hope that in the future this time of the year will be a bit happier. I woke up this morning and for a second, a wonderful second, I thought that this was like any other year and that I'd go downstairs and you and Ron would be sat at the table. Then it all came back to me. You wouldn't be sat at the table or be waking up in Ron's room. I don't even know where you are and you might not even realise it's Christmas and if you do I don't suppose you can even celebrate it on the run. I went downstairs to find mum sorting out the presents under the tree. There's a small pile each for you and Hermione and a slightly bigger pile for Ron. Everyone wanted to get you presents just in case. I guess we'll keep them safe for when you come back. The twins had spent the night here and so before long they were bounding down the stairs, trying to get everyone's spirits up. I got some nice presents. Lots of Weasley's Wizard Wheezes from the twins. I guess they feel sorry for me because I got more than I would any other year, including loads of their witch products as well as a few things mum wouldn't want me to take to school (but that's not going to stop me!). Mum and dad got me the usual jumper, this year mine has a heart on it. You've got one too, and Ron and Hermione. They also got me some sweets, both chocolate frogs and bertie bots every flavour jelly beans. Lupin and Tonks came round mid morning and Lupin ate a bogey flavoured jelly bean, his face was a real picture! Tonks tried to help in the kitchen but was eventually banished to the living room by my mum when she nearly cut her hand off with a knife, she's still as clumsy as ever! Bill and Fleur didn't come until near lunch time and we all sat down to eat. It was weird having empty seats at the table, it didn't seem right. No one was as talkative as usual. The twins tried their best to crack some jokes. After lunch mum put on Celestina Warbeck as usual but no one complained this year. Bill and Fleur kept giving each other funny looks though and then said they had to go mid afternoon. Mum was a bit put out but I think dad managed to explain to her that they wanted some time to themselves as it's their first Christmas as husband and wife. But Lupin and Tonks stayed and it's their first Christmas. Bill and Fleur probably just wanted to get away from the tense atmosphere here. I asked if I could come and visit sometime to get away from the Burrow for a while but they said it would probably be best if I stayed here. An owl came in the afternoon bringing me a present from Neville, he got me some chocolate and some Weasley products. It was nice of him and it meant that I could send the owl back with his present, Errol is definately too old and Pigwidgeon was sending Auntie Muriel her gift.

This evening we all just sat round talking. I was asking Lupin about what he thinks you're doing but he wouldn't say much. Just that if Dumbledore gave you a mission, then it must be important in ending the war. It lifted my spirits a little, I suppose it made me remember that this is about something bigger than me. But I still want you here. I want to be able to talk to you, know that you're safe and well. Lupin said that he's sure you are okay, since you've got Hermione to look after you and Ron to joke around with. I hope that he's right.

Anyway, I'd better go before mum realises I'm not asleep like I'm supposed to be. In a couple of weeks I'm going to be back at Hogwarts so I'm going to try and make the most of being at home. Once again Merry Christmas and I hope that I see you soon. I heard mum go upstairs to her room and cry earlier, it's hard on all of us but it hits home when I see my parents cry or look scared. I just can't wait until it's all over, but only as long as we all get out of this.

All my love,

Ginny


	10. Chapter 10

Hi guys! Sorry this chapter has been a long time coming but I've been super busy at work and have been staying late and going in on the weekends so it hasn't given me much time to write! Hopefully things will quieten down in a couple of weeks though. Enjoy.

Dear Harry,

Well I go back to Hogwarts in the morning. My trunk is all packed and mum's made sure all my clothes are washed and ironed and packed tidily. The past week has gone so quickly that I can't believe it's over. I guess it's true that time seems to speed up when you're dreading something. It's been a fairly good week though. The twins have been round a lot, they said business is slow so their other staff can handle it. We played Quidditch one day when Bill came to visit, me and Fred against Bill and George. We won! There was something in Bill's eyes though when we landed afterwards which made me feel like he let me win to cheer me up. I didn't ask though. I had to borrow Ron's broom though because of mine being confiscated by Snape and the Carrows. It was good to be able to get into the air and just fly around for a bit. Mum's been making me all my favourite foods, I guess she's trying to spoil me to make up for the three of you, Percy and Charlie not being here. I got an owl from Charlie yesterday, wishing me luck for school and that he wishes he could be here. I wish he was here too. Maybe when this is all over I'll be able to visit Charlie in Romania, I've always wanted to go to the dragon reserve. It was cool seeing the dragons in the Triwizard Tournament but then I was more focused on that fact you had to get past it. It would be nice to see them in a giant reserve and watch the keepers handle them. I don't know if mum would let me though because she doesn't like Charlie working there and she's always been more protective of me because I'm the youngest and probably because I'm the only girl. Maybe she'd let me go if you came with me? That way both you and Charlie would be there to 'protect' me and you've already faced a dragon so maybe mum would be cool with that. How about it? Fancy a trip to a dragon reserve?

We still haven't heard anything about Luna. Dad told the rest of the Order about the capture and so they've been listening out to see if they can find out where she is. The most probable place is Azkaban but usually they find out who's been taken there, I think they may have people keeping watch on it, so they know what's going on. But so far no one's heard anything. Dad showed me the latest Quibbler's though. Xeno really did go all out to support you so it's no wonder they wanted to find a way to stop him. I just wish it wasn't through Luna. Do you remember meeting Xeno at Bill's wedding? He was mad! I can see now why Luna says so many weird things. But I'd give anything to be able to discuss nargles or crumpled horned snorkax (no idea if that's spelt right but you know what I mean). At least tomorrow I can talk to Neville. I haven't been able to say much in my letters that I've sent to him because the death eaters might intercept them. I think he had a good Christmas though. He said he went to visit his parents in St Mungo's, like the year we saw him there. His gran seems to be annoying him though. We're going to have a DA meeting tomorrow evening to discuss what's been going on, we arranged it before Christmas. It seems now that the death eaters are stepping up their game and so we need to as well. Mum sat me down earlier and went on about how I need to behave myself and not get into trouble. She doesn't understand that it doesn't matter if I do something wrong or not. The Carrow's are just looking for things to punish me for and if they don't find them then they make stuff up. So it's better to actually do something and get punished rather than just get punished for nothing.

I've been keeping up with Potterwatch. They reported about Luna being taken off the train and also that several other people have vanished. More people have died as well, muggles and muggleborns. I just want it all to end. I want you to be here and Ron and Hermione. We could have played quidditch and gone for walks and ate all the food mum cooks for us. I want to be waiting to go back to Hogwarts with you, so we can all sit by the fire in the Common Room, chill out in the Room of Requirement and take trips into Hogsmeade. But I suppose that's not going to happen for now. But hopefully one day it will. I just need to try and keep my hopes up. Please stay safe Harry, don't let me read in the paper that you've been captured or killed. It's my worst nightmare.

All my love,

Ginny.


	11. Chapter 11

Dear Harry,

They all know. The whole school knows I was the one who opened the Chamber of Secrets. I hoped that I could keep it a secret forever but I guess that was foolish. I got back on the train, after saying goodbye to a crying mum, and found Neville in a compartment on his own waiting for me. Then about half way to school, a group of Slytherins came into the compartment and said they had found out something very interesting over the holidays. Their parents had told them, Lucius Malfoy had told the rest of the Death Eaters of course and they've told their children. They said they knew who opened the chamber and that maybe I should have been put in Slytherin seeing as it was me. Neville looked so shocked, he just sat there with his mouth open, not saying anything. Then it seems they went and told the rest of the train. Neville just looked at me. I tried explaining it to him, how it was the diary and Voldemort controlling me, making me do all those things. I told him about what happened in the Chamber, how you saved my life and destroyed the diary. I was crying by the end, it was horrible bringing up all those memories. I usually try not to think about it. For the first couple of months I had the help of the dreamless sleep potion but over time it has got easier. But now it's all been brought up again. Neville seemed to understand though, he hugged me at the end and said he believed me, that he understood what Voldemort was capable of. Then he tried to change the subject, asked me whether I'd heard anything about Luna and then moved on to talking about the DA. But then people kept coming to our compartment. Dennis Creevey came and demanded to know why I petrified his brother, muggle borns said that they thought I was on their side but that maybe they were wrong. Slytherins came and said that at last I was showing some pureblood tendencies. I kept saying it wasn't my fault but I don't think they believed me. People looked scared of me! I hate it. It got worse when we got back to Hogsmeade station. I could see people pointing me out to their friends and some were warning people to stay away from me because I petrified people. They don't understand that it wasn't me ... not really. It was Voldemort! They don't know that he was controlling me and I hate the fact that a lot of people who I thought I knew, think that now I'm this dangerous person. Neville's called an emergency DA meeting for tonight so that people can hear what really happened. How am I meant to stand in front of them all and tell them about the thing I'm most ashamed of? It was meant to stay secret. At least I'll have Neville there with me, ready to take over if I can't do it. He's already told most of the Gryffindor's the truth but some of them are still acting funny around me. I can't believe all of this is happening with you lot gone and Luna not here. What if they don't believe me? What if they think I did it on purpose? Surely they must know I wouldn't do some thing like that? Not when I've been campaigning so hard against the Carrow's and Snape.

I can't believe that I'm going through all this without you all. This is the first year that I haven't had you and family at Hogwarts and it's horrible. I need you Harry. I need to see you, make sure you're okay and leap into your arms to give you a kiss. A small part of me hates you for leaving, but you're trying to make all this stop so I forgive you. Just finish the job soon, okay? I don't think I can take much more of this. I have to go to the DA meeting now, I'll let you know how it goes. I love you Harry, always have, always will and don't you ever forget it.

All my love,

Ginny.


	12. Chapter 12

Dear Harry,

Last night was horrible, but I think people believed me. Everyone was already there when I entered the Room of Requirement, I think they just wanted to hear first hand what had happened, like the first meeting of the DA in the Hogs Head, when people wanted to hear what you'd done. A couple of people started backing away from me when I walked to the front, which did nothing for my confidence. Neville was great though, he told everyone to listen to what I'd got to say and that he was behind me 100% which really helped. I told them all what happened. About writing in the diary and getting a response, about forgetting hours of time, finding paint on my clothes and realising that I was the reason that people were getting petrified. I told them what I remembered from the Chamber, how a young Voldemort came out of the diary and was draining my energy, waking up to find him gone and you standing over me, how you'd realised what was going on and how it wasn't my fault. I told them that it was all Voldemort and how it had all started because Lucius Malfoy put that diary in my cauldron. I think they believed me. They listened at least, without interrupting which was good because once I got started I needed to finish it. Neville stood beside me the whole time, in case I needed him. At the end several people came and said how sorry they were that they had believed I'd opened it consciously. They started acting normally around me again. Hannah Abbott from your year came and said how amazing it was that I'd been through all of that without anyone knowing, apart from you lot of course. I left the meeting early, it had been a long day, and came back to the Common Room. I just needed some peace, you know? Like you did when you escaped up to your room during Gryffindor parties. The dorm was empty because the other girls were still at the meeting. I hadn't cried the whole time I'd been speaking but as soon as I lay on my bed, it seemed like the dam burst. I wasn't just crying about the Chamber of Secrets either, I thought of you, Ron and Hermione, camping somewhere and on the run from Voldemort and the Ministry, how Percy is still being an idiot and working at the Ministry even though it's being run my death eaters and how no matter how hard we try, life doesn't seem to be getting any better at the moment.

Even before this, I still had the occasional nightmare about what would have happened if you hadn't arrived in the Chamber when you did, or if Fawkes hadn't turned up to save you. We both could have died down there. I wasn't even your girlfriend, I was just your best friend's sister who made a fool of herself every time you were in the same room. You're amazing Harry. Like the time you saved everyone from the bottom of the lake in the Triwizard Tournament even though they weren't actually in any danger. You really are my knight in shining armour Harry and right now, I need you to save me again. You're the only one that can save all of us. McGonagall held me back again after Transfiguration and after putting the usual privacy spells on the room, asked me how I was doing. She said that she didn't know how much longer the war would go on for, but she hoped it would end soon for our sakes. The first years don't know what's hit them. After looking forward to going to Hogwarts for so long, now there's no Dumbledore, Snape's in charge and people seem to be getting crucioed left right and centre. Maybe it'll all end soon and we can go back to normal. We can always hope. I've been thinking more about going to see Charlie after it's all over. I know he'll probably come home and celebrate with us that it's over and I can see him then, but I'd really like to go see where he lives. I'm hoping that we can go together as I don't think I can stand being away from you again. If this has taught me anything, it's just how strongly I feel about you. Please keep safe and know that I'm thinking about you practically all the time.

All my love,

Ginny.


	13. Chapter 13

Dear Harry,

I meant to write sooner but it's been a bit hectic, what with lessons, homework, DA and detentions. McGonagall made me go to the hospital wing earlier for a pepper up potion as apparently I looked a bit peaky. It's probably because it's absolutely freezing here and I'm feeling very low at the moment. Whilst I was there though I got a dreamless sleep potion to take tonight so that I can get a good night's sleep which is good. Ever since I got back to the Castle and everyone found out about the Chamber of Secrets, I've been having nightmares about it. It's not helped by the fact that I also dream about you being hurt or worse ... I just want you to come back soon. Please? I miss Luna as well, and my family. It's good that McGonagall is looking out for me, I think mum might have asked her to.

Tonight's Potterwatch didn't really have anything new. Another muggle family has been killed but that seems to be happening all the time now. I hate that it's almost becoming normal to hear about it. I try to listen to it as much as I can, it's all we have to tell us what's really going on and I'm always hoping for news about you, good news anyway, if it's bad then I don't want to know and please don't let there be any bad news for me to hear. Sometimes I'm in detention though so have to get Neville to tell me the highlights. It seems now I don't even have to speak in lessons to get detention. They make any excuse up. Like last night I had detention for arriving 30 seconds late for Dark Arts. I got there as quickly as possible, not my fault my books fell on the floor when a Slytherin pushed into me and I had to pick them up, causing me to be behind the rest of my class. It was the cruciatus curse, meaning my bones are now all aching. I'm getting used to it a bit now though and try not to let the pain show on my face. I don't want to give them the satisfaction. I'm already counting down the days to Easter so I can go home again. Maybe this time you'll be there too? I'm not going to get my hopes up though. In case you were wondering, I still have your Christmas present. We saved them all and put them in Ron's room so that when you come back the three of you will still get to have them. They'll be a feast bigger than ever before to celebrate you coming home. Plus you don't have to go back to the Dursley's so you can just stay at the Burrow the whole time. Or maybe you want to get your own place? I know your parents left you lots of money (I know you try to hide it but we all know you're loaded and thank you for not offering it to us, Weasley's don't do charity). That way I can come round all the time and we won't be disturbed or worried about who might burst in, unless you get a place with Ron. Whatever you do, as long as I can be with you again then I'll be happy. One day this will all just be a memory that we tell our kids and grandkids. I know that you're out there making the world a better place for us and future generations.

I know this is a shorter letter than usual but I'm really tired and the thought of being able to sleep without nightmares is making me want my bed. Maybe it'll make me feel a bit better. As always keep safe, I don't know what I'd do without you.

All my love,

Ginny.

Ginny finished reading the letter and wiped tears from her eyes. That time, going back after Christmas, had been the worst months of her life. Not knowing if Harry, Ron and Hermione were alright, not knowing where Luna was and being away from her family. Looking back at what they'd all been through, she couldn't believe how normal their lives were now. At the time it had seemed like nothing would ever be good again. But of course she'd had her knight in shining armour who would never let that happen. Deciding to stop for something to eat, she left the remaining letters and took a break.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

Dear Harry,

My whole body hurts. I can't face the stairs so am going to sleep in the common room tonight. I'm meant to be doing my homework at the moment but thought I'd take a break and write to you again. I wrote a letter to mum earlier saying that I'm coping fine and that everything's fine. It was a total lie. I can't pretend to you and maybe that's why I needed to write this. I'm sick and tired of pretending that I can cope. I don't want mum and dad to find out that I'm getting detention on average at least twice a week. It's not my fault either. Okay sometimes it is, like when I stick up for muggle borns and muggles and when I struggle or refuse to curse my friends in Dark arts. But then there's the times when I get detention for being a couple of seconds late, or if I get something wrong. I'm finding Dark Arts hard and so get detentions as punishment. It's just not right training us to hurt people. I want to protect people, like you do. We're practising our defence spells in DA meetings so that if the time comes or maybe I should say when the time comes, we're ready to fight.

We also talked about different ways to try and cope with the detentions and I think I've found one that numbs the pain a little. Every time they try and hurt me I try and think of you. It makes me feel better and distracts me a little. I really like the idea of us going to visit Charlie. I'm hoping that this will all be over soon and so next year you could come back to Hogwarts with me and we can graduate together. But maybe you wouldn't want to come back. That way we would have to meet at Hogsmeade weekends and stuff. It would be hard, but better than not being able to talk to you at all. Then after school, I want to try and get on a professional Quidditch team, hopefully the Harpies. I could do that and you could be an Auror if that's what you still want to be. You could come and watch me play and then one day get a house together, if mum ever lets me leave home! Being the youngest and the only girl might mean she never lets me go! Anyway, we'll both have our own careers and then one day, whenever you decide to propose, we'll get married, maybe at the Burrow. I liked the way we had it for Bill and Fleur's wedding and I know it's one of your favourite places, mine too. After a couple of years of being married we'll have our first child, just think one day we'll be stood on Platform 9 ¾ waving our children off. Anyway that's the plan I've come up with. If you don't agree with any of the details then tough, it's my imagination, my wishful thinking, my way of coping.

I don't know what I would do if Neville wasn't here. He really is my rock at the moment. We both miss Luna so much and just want to know if you're all okay. He's encouraging us to stay positive and that's what I'm trying to do. My heart starts to beat faster every time Potterwatch come on, in case they say you've been hurt or worse. But then it settles down after the first 30 seconds as if anything had happened, they'd say first. Then it's comforting to hear Fred and George's voices, and Lupins. It means that they're okay, they're safe. Sometimes Bill is on it too so I know he's alright. Mum's letters are useless because she can't write the truth. She just goes on about how dad's working hard, Ron's still ill but making slow progress, and she's experimenting in the kitchen so there will be nice treats to look forward to over Easter. The last one is good, I really can't wait to get back home but the others, I just wish we could talk openly. I don't want to have to pretend that Ron's at home and that I don't have feelings for you anymore. I'm so worried about you and I have to try and hide that. I just want you to be safe and okay. Please don't get yourself into any dangerous situations, I know that they usually find you but I need you to be okay.

All my love,

Ginny.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

Dear Harry,

Well I'm now at home for a couple of weeks for the Easter holidays. It feels so good to be around family and be at the Burrow but I still wish that you were here. We were quite nervous on the train, in case someone got snatched like Luna, but everything was fine, no sign of death eaters and then my parents were there to meet me at the station. Mum has been cooking all my favourite things ready for my arrival by the sounds of things, we're having chocolate cake later. I don't mind being spoilt, but I wish it wasn't because of the circumstances. The ghoul is rattling around in Ron's room still. I wonder how he's going to feel when he has to go back up to the attic? I don't think he's going to go easily. And I'm sure the room will smell for a long time after, even Mum's household spells won't be strong enough I'm sure.

The twins are now living with us again, I think for mum's sake more than anything else. If they're here then she knows they're safe as her clock has us all pointing at mortal peril. I see everyone glancing at it as they walk past, just in case something has changed. Having Fred and George here is good though, means I have people to talk to around my own age and they are good at keeping my mind busy. Fred currently has no eyebrows due to a particularly vicious game of exploding snap last night. Order members make appearances daily as well. Tonks is due more or less any day now so she's been staying at home, Lupin keeps us updated though. He's so excited about being a dad, but I can tell he's also really nervous about it too. There's a bet going over whether the baby will be a metamorphmagus, but Lupin says it should be over whether the baby will be a werewolf or not. I guess trying to add humour must make it easier for him, but apparently all the books say it's very unlikely, the baby might just be grumpier around the full moon. Bill and Fleur pop round a couple of nights a week for dinner, under mum's orders I'm sure and Fleur also comes round when Bill leaves the house. I think she's scared to be home alone and I don't blame her. Tri-wizard tasks were one thing, but if a group of death eaters came knocking, that's a whole other story. They have all the protective spells round their house but I think it's just for her own peace of mind. I know I've said some mean things about her in the past but she's actually alright.

The only bad thing about being back is that you aren't here. I think about you all the time. Like when you first came here and I ran back up the stairs too embarrassed to talk to you, or when I gave you your birthday present last year, right here in my room and when you first travelled by floo powder. Mum's planning all the meals that she's going to cook for you all when you're back so don't worry about being hungry ever again.

I keep imagining where you are right now, camping in the middle of nowhere probably whilst I'm sleeping in my warm bed at night. Every time we sit down for a meal I think about whether you're getting a proper meal or not, probably not. Please stay safe Harry, I know I say it a lot but I just don't know what I'd do without you.

All my love,

Ginny


End file.
